One day, I woz in the pub wiv ronnie and reggie. They woz mean cos some bloke had crossed them, and they wanted him done. I said I would do him, and they said okay. So I dun him, and ronnie and reggie said, they were glad he woz dun, and well done for doing him. I said it woz okay, and we had beers.

On another occasion, I woz in the same pub wiv ronnie and reggie and they woz mean cos some geezer had crossed them. They said they wanted him dun, and I said as I had dun the bloke before, I could do this geezer, and they said yes, and so I went and did the geezer. Ronnie and reggie were happy and said I woz the best doer in the whole east end. I laughed wiv them and we had beers.

On another day, I woz in the pub, when in walked ronnie and reggie. They said I had crossed them, and said I had not. They said I had and they had to do me. I said I did not want to be dun, cos I had a mum to look after. They persuaded me I had to be dun, cos they were the law in the east end and I respected that and said I would do myself seeing as how I woz so good at it. I did myself, but I missed and I did not get dun properly. But I could no longer walk and had to go around in a wheelchair like some poof.

Ronnie and reggie said this woz so funny, they said I didn't have to be completely dun. But my respect in the east end woz like shit and I hung up my trademark socks and am now going straight, as a pimp.

When I looks back, I finks that ronnie and reggie woz fair, and I fink myself lucky that I met these respected geezers, and that I had dun people for them. It woz good.

(c) 2000, Mickey 'The Socks' McClutcheon.