"Jesu" Chris Evanasti was the greatest radio broadcaster that Brazil has ever produced. In his twenty years in the business, he took radio back up to the heights it had only previously achieved in the days before television. Evanasti had even made roads into that medium before he was so prematurely taken from us.

Born of poor parents in a small village, Evanasti set off for the big city lights as soon as he was old enough. There he found work at the Brazilian Broadcasting Co-operative (VGN). After a few years sweeping the floor and running errands for the likes of Toni Negro Con Fuego and Eduardo "Stupot" Stuardo, he got his first big break. He was allowed to come in and clean the studio during the Enrico Kelli breakfast show. Enrico would rib him mercilessly about his ginger hair and stupid State Health Department spectacles. But he stuck with it and after three more years, he became Enrico's sound engineer after the previous one died of inhaling cleaning fluid fumes.

Enrico Kelli still ribbed Chris, but one day Enrico failed to turn up for work, and Chris took over the helm. The show was an unmitigated disaster as the, shy boy mumbled his way through the top forty playing them all in the wrong order so no one knew which one was supposed to be where. But it gave Chris a taste of the big time. He wanted more of it. Enrico arrived later that day, fuming that someone has slipped something in his drink whilst he and Chris had been in a local bar the previous night.

Chris was moved on to become sound engineer on the late-night "Whispering" Bobby Holnessi show. It was while he was there that he met El Capitano Kremen a man whose mad-cap approach to radio was to deeply affect Chris Evanasti. He saw that being shy was no reason to be a crap DJ. All you needed was a persona.

In his room, Chris tried a number of persona's, recording each of them on an old 8-track tape recorder and listening to them over and over again to see which ones worked. For months and months he did this until one day, he came up with "Jesu" Chris Evanasti the DJ who thought he was the son of God. He knew he had found his voice.

"Whispering" Bobby croaked his last a few weeks later, when he fell onto the kitchen knife set and then collapsed into the bath. Tentatively, the radio bosses tried "Jesu" Chris as his replacement. He was an instant hit. He was loud and brash. He loved himself. But most of all, he convinced the people of Brazil that he loved them. He proved it by offering large cash prizes.

The "Jesu" Chris show grew and grew. It was moved to daytime, to evening time and then to the prime morning rush-hour slot. The people of Brazil couldn't get enough of him. His face adorned thousands of posters. Tapes of his show cost hundreds of dollars on the black market. His voice was considered by many to be the voice of Brazil.

The next obvious step was into television. The medium was still in its infancy, but ever other DJ who had tried to break into it had failed. Mostly because they were an ugly bunch. Chris was no oil painting either, but he was the son of God. And that gets you a lot of clout in a Catholic country.

His first show, "Get Packing," sent peasants off for short stays in one of the big cities, was a reasonable success. But the next one, "Thank The Son of God, For He Has Given You Friday Night," took off in a big way. It guaranteed him a place in the Brazilian hall of broadcasting fame. But it was Radio that was always his first love. After himself, of course. Even with the success of his TV shows, he still got up every morning to allow the world the pleasure of listening to his own voice. A please he shared with the country.

What would have been his next step, we can only but wonder. It could have been Movies, a Pop career, even his own Sitcom. We shall never know the full extent of his dreams. Last Thursday he was struck down by lightning as he entered the grounds of a church. That morning he had told viewers that he was going to a church for the first time in ages to see if he could "Get his dad to up his allowance."

Today a nation is stunned by a freak accident, on a sunny, cloudless day, which robbed it of one of its most self-loved stars. Many believe that the likes of "Jesu" Chris Evanasti will never be seen again, whilst others believe, as he claimed himself, that he will return in 2000 years, or so.

(c) Morbid Ernest 21/1/2000.