Miguel Boltona is a name as synonymous with popular music as any. He wrote and recorded more top ten hits than any other singer/songwriter of the 90's. The success of hits such as "How Are You Supposed to Live Without Me?" and "Soul Plagiariser" made him a household name. And he seemed to just build and build on it. Even before this success, he had penned a few classics, which gave more success to already established stars.

But he wasn't always the half-Spanish heartthrob he claimed to be. In fact he was not half-Spanish at all. He was born Mike Bottom, in a small town in New Mexico and had a tough childhood. He was abandoned by his mother at five and by his father at eight. At twelve, his grandparents, then his legal guardians, ran off to join them. Mike Bottom was forced to fend for himself. He got a job at the local music store where he found himself more and more drawn to the Soul classics from Motown. He listened ardently, and it is presumed a dream was formulated in that very shop.

Mike bought himself a guitar, and hired a teacher. He learnt fast, and armed with the sheet music to his favourite tunes, he started playing once a week in a whites-only Black Music bar. He went down well, and soon found the courage to try some songs of his own. Even though people didn't recognise the songs, they always sounded so familiar people loved them just the same.

His songs from that era, were very heavily influenced by his love of Motown, that it was often difficult to distinguish the genuine article from the 'tribute.' Soon he broadened his repertoire into other styles and gained work at other clubs in the area. Mike Bottom songs from this era include: "Handing In the Paddles of Love", "I will Arrive" and "Bobbit on a Thing."

The clubs of California beckoned. He knew he had to change his name. Out went Mike Bottom, and in came the Latin Miguel Boltona. And more and more he hid the origins of his songs under more obscure titles. "Sounds Like (Another Song)", "(Sounds Like) Another Song" and "Yet Another Song (Sounds Like This)" were typical names of the era.

His big break came when pop diva Share asked him to write a song for her. He did, and she had a huge hit with "Turning Back the Shadows of Love". Soon every pop star worth their salt came queuing at Miguel's door begging him to write them a song. Looloo, Bonio, Sheana Easton. A veritable who's-who of past-their-prime pop music came pleading to him. And he never turned down any of them.

Very soon, he had the clout to record his own album. Called "Every Day, Another Ballad", it was a rousing success. Soon after he started work on a second album.

Miguel went from strength to strength. His fans adored him, critics raved about him, and the record-buying public bought his records by the truckload. His album, "Sound Familiar?" went platinum before it had even been released.

Shortly after this record was released, Miguel was sued by ageing Motown star, Crusty Winter, who claimed several of Miguel's songs were close to his own. In 1957, Crusty recorded a now deleted album called "Winter Songs," which featured the songs, "Love is all you know," "Crazy in my Head" and "Heather Over There." In 1997, Miguel released "Spring Songs" containing "Love is tall, you know", "Lazy in my bed" and "Leather Overwear." Miguel was devastated when the court found in favour of Crusty.

Crusty never saw a penny of the money, he died a few weeks after the verdict was announced. Soon, other Motown veterans were queuing up to sue Miguel. Martha Venus sued over an alleged reworking of her song, "End of the Street," which she claimed became "Fend off the Heat." True there was a similarity, but Miguel denied he stole the song. The court found in Martha's favour. She too died soon after the verdict, in a mysterious accident. After the third mysterious death of a victor in a courtroom battle against Miguel (over the roots of the song "Cor! (What is She Stood For?)"), rumours of fowl-play began. But the police found no evidence linking the crimes to Miguel and concluded it was the months of stress the trials had caused on people who were no longer so young. People who had often not treated their bodies well. Miguel was always far, far away at the time of each accident.

Many people failed to believe the police's version and nobody sued Miguel over disputed copyrights anymore. That was until January 2000, when The Reverent Joe Roundella (formerly of Joe Roundella and the Greens) took a claim to court over his song, "Sweet Jesus I love you." he claimed Boltona's "Sweet Jesus! I love you" was not even a variation on his song, but his song with slightly different emphasis.

The Reverent sued and won, and everybody expected him to be mysteriously killed soon after. He wasn't. Although as the Reverent was driving his car along a dangerous stretch of road, it did skid seeming out of control, but the Reverent brought it back onto the road not by steering, but by praying. At the very moment witnesses at a celebrity party noticed Miguel Boltona sweating profusely. He refused offers of help and fell to the floor obviously in pain, or as one party-goer put it, struggling with such violence from within.

That night, the Reverent did not go to the church meeting was intending to go to. He went to the party. Miguel was being nursed back to consciousness by starlet Clammy Shoulders. Miguel awoke as soon as the Reverent entered the room and pushed aside the girl. What followed next has not been adequately explained. Boltona and Roundella stared at each other intently. Their faces went through a number of contortions, but their eyes remained fixed on each other.

They paced around the room, Miguel shouting and cursing at the Reverent, the reverent saying nothing in return but continually muttering to himself. The intensity increased: Miguel's shouting grew louder and the Reverent's mumbling faster and more incoherent until at last Joe Roundella pointed both hands at Bolana's head and shrieked, "Get thee gone, prince of Darkness!"

One minute later, Miguel Boltana was dead by a massive coronary. The inquest filed a verdict of death by natural causes. The Reverent Joe Roundella has refused to talk about the events of that day and will only say one thing to reporters. "The lord's work is always to be done."

Miguel Boltana né Michael Bottom will always be remembered for reminding us that the old hits are always there.

(c) Morbid Ernest 30/3/2000 & 2/5/2002.