More zany banter from the Alzheimic octogenarian.

A burning issue of the day is relentlessly discussed until the public no longer cares. (Remember what takes weeks in the press only takes hours on Radio 4.)

Penelope Harding-Longface's disturbing play about the effects of illiteracy on a small Northumbrian village at the turn of the century.

Fotherington Lloyd-Shellfish discusses with old-time celebrities burning issues affecting the upper and middle classes of the Home Counties. (Radio 4 Wales get some program about coal mining.)

Julia Wankel-Rotaryengine's disturbing play about the effects of Industrialisation on a small Northumbrian village at the turn of the century.

Abrose Dairy-Shamus discusses authors old and new and concludes they all wrote books.

Samantha Lingus-Cunningham's disturbing play about the effects of a potato shortage on a small Northumbrian village at the turn of the century.

Due to be axed and replaced by quirky panel game, Mastermind.

Contestants have to speak rubbish on a subject they know nothing about for one minute. A bit like what radio DJs have been doing for years, but with has-been comedians.

Mary Muff-Divingham's disturbing play about the effects of a new bus stop on a small Northumbrian village at the turn of the century.

Later programs may be delayed if this overruns.

Charlotte Fuck-Shaftington's disturbing play about the effects of a large moth on a small Northumbrian village at the turn of the century.

Airwaves handed over to GanjaCrew FM for a night of Thumping Drum and Bass, and Hardhouse Hip Hop. Radio 4 listeners are advised to retune to Melancholy FM.