(It is raining heavily, although only a little of the rain penetrates the thick canopy. There are occasional bursts of lightning. As the camera PANS through the woodland undergrowth, we pass through a variety of scenes:)

(Frolicking RABBITS make SPRING-LIKE NOISES as they leapfrog over each other)

(TWO ELVES are arguing. They start pushing each other about and very soon it gets quite rough.)

(In the middle of a small clearing is a trumpet. A SNAKE is crawling along. It creeps up on the trumpet and swallows it whole making the top part of it's body take the shape of the trumpet.)

(The camera COMES TO REST on a 10-foot high fence, with a large sign on it, saying "Chunderville Cryogenics Laboratory, Chunderville, Washington State, Friday 10:45 p.m.". In the background is the Cryogenics Centre, a large ultra-modern complex.)

(A celebration is in full swing in a large medical research laboratory. Streamers and other party paraphernalia are everywhere. A banner overhead declares "Congratulations Dr Van Helsing on perfecting the thawing technique." Dotted about the laboratory are various pieces of apparatus; containers of various chemicals (some with symbols for poison or radioactivity); and lit Bunsen burners. Some of the laboratory animals in cages have party hats on too.)

(Everyone is still dressed in their lab coats, some supplemented by party hats. All are enjoying themselves. In the centre of it all is PROFESSOR VELMA VAN HELSING, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Velma from the Scooby Doo TV series, aged thirty. She has thick, short red hair, and thick-rimmed black glasses. She is chatting intimately with DR JANE SMATTERING, a pretty brunette girl, a few years her junior. She wears her hair tied back.)

(A DRUNK DOCTOR stumbles forward up to Van Helsing. He is carrying a large glass of whisky and wearing a party hat. Paper streamers adorn his shoulders.)

(Two SERVING DOCTORS are pouring drinks from behind a desk by the entrance to the room. There is a lit Bunsen burner on the corner of the table. Serving Doctor #1 puts the last of the ice from a bucket into the glass of a waiting female doctor. They exchange a few drunken glances. When she is gone, he looks into the bucket to double-check there is no more ice, and walks off nodding to Serving Doctor #2.)

(Serving Doctor #1 strides along the corridor still carrying the bucket. He passes a MAN seemingly in the embrace of someone else - a pair of hands are all over his back.)

(DR PACING turns round, embarrassed. The hands behind his back were his own.)

(Serving Doctor #1 walks on up to a door marked "Cryogenics Room". By the door is a keypad. He enters a code into it which plays a note as he presses each key - the tune that plays is the first six notes of the melody of ‘As Time Goes By’. The door slides open making a NOISE like Ivor the Engine (Psh-t-k). Serving Doctor enters.)

(The room contains many upright columns, each of which has a door at the front, and a control panel to the side of the door. The doors have a large glass panel so that you can see inside what appear to be human forms. The columns are all labelled.)

(Serving Doctor #1 enters and walks across the room. He passes columns labelled ‘Walt Disney’ and ‘Lord Lucan’. He goes to the column marked ‘Elvis Presley’ and opens the door. As he does, a light goes on inside and shows a fully-dressed Elvis caked in ice. The ice has been chipped away at the front. The Serving Doctor chips away some more so that it falls into the bucket.)

(While he is doing this the camera PANS around to show some of the other columns - ‘E.T.’ and ‘Miles Monroe’. When it rests on one labelled ‘Count Dracula’, DRAMATIC MUSIC plays. It plays for far longer than it should and has a very big finish.)

(Serving Doctor has filled the bucket with ice. He closes the door, and the internal light goes out. He walks back past a row of six columns bearing the names of the characters from ‘Alien’: ‘Ripley’, ‘Dallas’, ‘Lambert’, ‘Brett’, ‘Kane’, ‘Ash’, and ‘Parker’. On the one marked ‘Kane’ he notices a red light flashing. He goes up to it and opens the door. Water floods out of the column and the water-logged body of KANE (played by John Hurt or a look-alike) flops out.)