The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The following is taken from the script for "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" a new Hollywood movie based on the British TV series.

SCENE - CALIFORNIAN SUBURB - MORNING

CAMERA PANS ALONG THE STREET AND SETTLES ON A TYPICAL HOUSE.

The house is not adjacent to any others and is surrounded by unused land.

SCENE - UNTIDY BEDROOM - MORNING

Arthur Dent, an attractive, well-built man, jumps out of bed and does 20 push-ups. He then switches on the TV remotely, sits in the weight machine and starts pumping iron.

SCENE - SUBURBAN STREET - MORNING

A very large bulldozer is moving purposefully along. Walking beside it are several highly-armed security guards.

We PULL BACK to see the bulldozer is heading for Arthur's House.

SCENE - ARTHUR'S BEDROOM

Arthur finishes his work out and jogs to the bathroom. He starts brushing his teeth and looks out of the window.

ARTHUR'S POV

We see the bulldozer heading this way.

CLOSE ON ARTHUR

ARTHUR: What the...!

We FOLLOW HIM as he rushes out of the House and up to the approaching machine. He stands in its path. The bulldozer stops, the driver looks out of his cab, two of the security guards approach Arthur.

GUARD #1: Out of the way, asshole.

ARTHUR: Not until someone tells me what's going on round here.

GUARD #2: (holds his gun up to Arthur) I suggest you get out of here, we're kinda busy.

A large black Limousine pulls up be side them, and a tall figure in a black suit emerges. He speaks with sinister foreign (British) accent.

MAN IN BLACK: Problem, Gentlemen?

GUARD #1: Yes sir, this person...

ARTHUR: I gotta problem!

MAN IN BLACK: Uhuh.

ARTHUR: This machine and it's attendant idiots is heading straight for my house. I don't like that, it makes me nervous.

MAN IN BLACK: Well you see, they have to head for your house, otherwise they won't be able to get to it and knock it down.

ARTHUR: Knock it down? But I only just built it... with my bare hands. You can't knock it down.

MAN IN BLACK: We can, and have to, I'm afraid. You see I'm building an expressway through here, and your little shack is in the way.

ARTHUR: You can't do that. That's my land.

MAN IN BLACK: I can. You see the authorities here are very sympathetic to my needs. (Satisfied grin) Good bye Mr Dent. (To the guards) If he interferes, kill him. (He gets in the car which drives off.)

Guard #1 grabs hold of him and pulls him away from the front of the bulldozer, which starts moving again. The guard and Arthur begin struggling. Arthur turns the guard's gun on the other guards nearby and shoots at them. Three are killed and the others shoot back, hitting Guard #1.

Arthur drags the dead guard along as a shield, and continues shooting the other guards. He sees a grenade in the guards belt, takes it out, pulls the pin with his teeth and tosses it up into the cab of the bulldozer, high above his head.

INSIDE CAB

Driver looks down and sees the grenade. He jumps out just as it explodes.

ARTHUR

Arthur shoots the last of the guards and drops the dead guard.

ARTHUR: Thanks, pal.

The cab of the Bulldozer is burning but the machine is still moving towards his house.

ARTHUR: Oh shit.

He rushes round to the back and climbs up the back. He starts beating the flames out with his jacket but they beat him back. He looks round for inspiration and gets it. He jumps down and picks up a large rock and jams it between two of the caterpillar-track wheels. It is crushed. He tries another and the same happens. He rushes over to a dead guard, takes a grenade and rushes back to the bulldozer which is close to his house. He pulls the pin, waits a few seconds before putting it between two wheels on the caterpillar track and runs. It explode.

As the dust clears, the bulldozer is still moving, but in a slow circle missing the house. Arthur wanders over to another dead guard and takes a grenade.

FURTHER AWAY

A man approaches.

BULLDOZER AND ARTHUR SEEN OVER MAN'S SHOULDER

Arthur is busy destroying the other caterpillar track using the same method.

MAN: What the...?

The grenade explodes and throws Arthur to the floor.

CLOSE ON ARTHUR

Arthur looks up to see the man approaching.

MAN: Hi, Arthur, having problems?

ARTHUR: Hi Ford. Nothing I can't handle.

Ford helps Arthur stand up.

FORD: we need to talk, let's go to the gym.

FADE TO...