Film, TV and Radio Scripts, etc.

Was it not Pamela Anderson who first said that the ability to communicate with a fellow human being on such concepts as art, religion and the construction of polystyrene cups with only a series of modulations of the voice, or with arbitrary symbols on a piece of paper was, one of the greatest achievements of life on this planet. After, of course, being able to fill a swimsuit to capacity and run in slow motion. But then she would say that, wouldn't she.

Sitcom Tasters

• Working Titles. Co-written with Théo Boyman. This taster was voted second out of nine entries in a Sitcom Trial put on by Situations Vacant.
• But...Naked: Performed at another Situations Vacant   Sitcom Trial .

Film Scripts

• Suckers: Sample pages of a spoof on horror films.

Spoof Scripts and Synopsi

• Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Hollywood script.
• Ali McBeal - Typical scene
• Robson and Gerome - Synopsis for rejected series.
• 10 Failed TV Spin-offs.

Spice Girls Movies

• The Spice Girls' Movie: Rejected script ideas.
• Future Spice Girls' Movie Synopsis's.
• More Future Spice Girls' Movie Synopsis's.

Radio 4

• Radio 4 Schedule.
• Radio 4 - The Bowers, episode guide.
• Application Form for Radio 4 Announcer.

Explanation of names used that may not be familiar to some readers of this page:

• Pamela Anderson - two large portions of silicone that paid a lot of money to have some unattractive skin stretched over it. Winner of the 2013 Nobel Prize for Literature.
• Robson and Gerome - two large portions of silicone that paid even less money, but got two sets of unattractive flesh stretched over them. Winners of the 2013 Nobel Prize for Peace.
• Julia Sawahla - British TV Actress who makes a good living playing teenage daughters, despite being over 36 years old (*). She came to prominence in Children's TV serial Press Gang, and repeatedly turns down the scripts I send her for a 35mm film of my own, strangely enough also called Press Gang. Although it's a bit different, you see what happens, is this tall, pale guy is walking through a park at night... Winner of the 2013 Nobel Prize for Journalism.
• The Spice Girls - a nasty rash-like infection sweeping the Western World. Winners of the 2013 Smash Hits Poll-winners Prize for World Peace.

(*) - This is not due to be accurate for another ten years, or so.

Get thee gone.